Sniffing out stories
I am always surprised when I read about Blogger's Block—when a blogger has nothing to write about. Ferchrissakes, open any fucking paper or watch the news for a minute and you'll have plenty. I mean fucking plenty.
Take Harry Reid. Remember, last time, I said Barack should beat him up? Well, now there's a perfectly legitimate reason to do it: that Reid, before he was elected, said of Barry that he was "light skinned...with no Negro dialect." Negro? Really? In this day and age? Is this old fuck a retard or something? I mean you got to wonder, don't you? Or is he part of the larger conspiracy...
Yes, there's a conspiracy to bring this president down. Look at the facts. Since he took office someone went in and killed a bunch of CIA agents—you know that could only happen (if it actually did happen) with the consent of someone at the top of the Company (yeah! I know all about The Company!!!). Now add to that the story of the White House party-crashers. Clearly they were there to tell the whole world that security around the president was shit and that anyone who wanted to could take a shot at him? Do you remember White House party crashers during Bush? No, of course you don't because they're at Gitmo. Now add to those two stories the Christmas bomber. I mean it is simply not possible that that could happen unless someone—and I mean someone high up—let it happen. So there it is... Barack, keep your head down. Remember what they did to the Kennedy boys and that poor girl at Chappaquiddick.
Of course, not all news in the paper is important news but it still has the capacity to get you pissing on the floor with rage.
Take Tiger and his Woods. I mean, if that hound was a dog and had been sniffing about the cooters of 15 or more bitches, he'd be one ball-less animal. I think Ms Woods should consider consider fixing the fucker a term of the divorce settlement.
How about the models who refused to go onto the runway because they considered the shoes (about a foot high) too dangerous! I mean, who knew? They have brains!
And—hey!—Jay Leno has problems! Well, anyone who ever watched him on TV knows that: he isn't fucking funny. But now, in prime time, everyone is aware of it and, poor NBC, putting him at 11:30 or midnight or even three in the fucking a.m. won't hide the fact that the man has the comic timing of roadkill.
Need more? How about the fucks who had their subscriptions to BeautifulPeople.com cancelled because they all turned into porkers over the holidays. Let's face it, it's pretty hard to feel the least bit sorry for anyone who is on a web site called BeautifulPeople.com, isn't it? The good thing, though, is that these rejects have finally learned a real life lesson: if your thighs sing and your arse flaps when you walk you ain't beautiful fucking anything.
Dubai opens the world's tallest tower...Look! Look! On the horizon!!! It's a big truck! A truck loaded down with boxes and boxes of who-fucking-cares! Good Christ—if they're not building something huge and vulgar it wouldn't be fucking Dubai!
So don't tell me about Blogger's Block. There's 24-hour news, you can read any paper in the world on your Kindle (I got the models' story from The Independent on Mook A's machine) and you can listen to whole fucking podcasts about anything (including hours and hours of World of Warcast, do you believe it?).
There's crap everywhere that just makes you want to have a shit. Just look for it.
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