Nothing is Working; February 16, 2009

Film: A Zen Moment

On the third day, when they thought everything was going to be perfect, I got them: pissed on the bed while they were otherwise occupied. I thought surely they would let me go. But all they did was get sad and explain to each other that this was something they would both have to get used to for a while because I was "adapting." Idiots.

Then there was the botched escape which would have worked if I hadn't let my own fucking drives get in the way. The bitch...who knew she was a collaborator. (When the revolution happens we're going to have to deal with all these Mommy's-Little-Babies.)

Then yesterday I pissed on the bed again. Nothing again. Then there were visitors later and I thought this was my chance. I danced and yodeled and entertained and thought they would all let their guard down, especially when the guests went to leave. But don't listen to what other dogs tell you. The enemy is not stupid. Worse, I was playing hard with one of them and, dammit if the drive didn't get in the way again and I didn't find myself humping her arm. Suddenly they weren't going "awwww" anymore, just "ewwwww" and that's no good if you want people to let their guard down. One of the visitors even said, "You're going to have to keep him on a tight leash because, castrated or not, he still had certain drives—still has hormones in his system." I hate her.

So now I'm a little lost. I have crazy-ass zen moments and then I have moments where they think I am playing when I'm actually practicing to kill them all in their sleep. They can go "awwwww" all they want. Soon the gurgling blood of their torn throats will be muffling any sound they make.

Film: Preparing the Murder