February 23, 2009; The Legacy

Bohemian Léo

It has been five days since my last "accident", I am constantly reminded, and see that the Mooks are getting pretty complacent. Might have to shake things up soon. 

Meanwhile, got my stitches out and dared to have a look at the catastrophe between my legs. A sadder sight you have not seen: that little empty sack flapping about in the breeze below that wondrous thing which used to do other things besides just pee. Lordie, there will come a day of judgement for this vile race and all they have done to us.

When I arrived here, and even now, from time to time, the Mooks call me Cosmo instead of my slave-name, Léo. I wondered who this Cosmo was and have gleaned from conversations that he was the last poor beast who inhabited this place. I knew there had been one—his smell is everywhere—but I knew nothing about him except that he peed high (and I, as you can imagine from my puniness, pee low).

The late, great Cosmo

As it turns out, the pictures placed around the house are of this famous Cosmo. Let me just say this: if I was to swing that way, I'd do him. A fine specimen not just of Dalmatian but of glorious, masculine dog. I wondered how he survived in this place full of homo-sickuals; his butchness must have been tested on a daily basis. I mean the size of him screams "virile" where as my size doesn't scream anything—more like it whispers and the whispers ain't nice. 

Anyway, from what I have heard Cosmo did his job as all pound dogs should when he arrived: he annointed everything (especially soft furniture), but slowly he was domesticated, especially after he too was mutilated as I have been. He soon became the subject of the humiliations I am already enduring, though his abuse was more public and took the form of him modeling for Christmas cards.

Christmas Cosmo (the poor fuck)

I wonder what fate awaits me now...what sissification program they have in store for me. I have nothing against their "lifestyle" as long as they don't want to recruit me. Sean Penn can give all the solemn Oscar speeches about "them" that he wants, but that doesn't mean I want to become a boy in that band. 

I take a moment of silence and grieve my late brother, Cosmo, who gave so much. I hope he comes back in a better, happier life and pees on both their graves.

Amen.