November 22, 2010; Gay Culture

Skeeter and I were, once again, cocooning in the La-Z-Boy, when he sparked up over something on TV (you can feel a shift in energy, when you're a dog who's trying to sleep). Then he started singing:

"Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day and certainly make it all seem worth while?
WELL IT'S YOU GIRL AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT—"

I finally roared, "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!" He did but when the Mary Tyler Moore show started he just hummed with happiness. I watched the show for a bit and then said, "This is so gay!"

He swatted me on the head and said, "It's no such thing!"

"Puh-leeze! It's Sex And The City without all the swearing and fucking."

"You're a little idiot," he said, swatting me again, "this is one of the most beloved series of all time—"

"—beloved by homos—"

Another swat and, "Look, I know it's not gay because I watched it with my father, religiously, every week. It was after my mother died and it was one of the few things that made him laugh hard."

"That's very touching. Did your dad also like Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand?"

"As a matter of fact he did!" But Skeeter got the suggestion and growled, "You're an asshole and wrong. He was not only a Catholic but also an officer in the army—"

"—the Canadian army—"

"—what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Isn't that one of those queer armies?" Another swat. "Stop doing that or so help me God I'll rip your bags off; skin and plastic!"

"Shut up, it's back." And he went back to Mary and the gang at WJM. After it ended, he was still humming but I had to know: "Why do all the gays like Liza and Judy and Barbra and Cher and opera?"

"We don't all; I don't like Cher—"

"—but a lot—"

"Yes. True. It's one of the stereotypes that still has a kind of truth behind it. I don't know why but we all seem to like these things from a very young age. I read an article once that said it had something to do with huge, loud emotions and how we, gay men, when we're young and in the closet have to keep our real emotions very small and hidden, mostly. There's something both right and wrong about that explanation. Not sure what, though."

"Hm..."

"Oh, look! Rhoda's on!" he squeaked and if I was feeling mean I'd say girlishly. Soon, in the program, there was a scene with Rhoda and her husband Joe in bed and Skeet hummed but not with contentment but with that thing he has when he sees a hairy chest. "Now this is gay," I said.

"Hm?" he said.

I went back to sleep and he went back somewhere over the rainbow.