October 22, 2010; Insomnia

I was so exhausted when I toddled into the kitchen last night that Cosmo sitting there, puffing on his ever-present cigarette, had no effect on me. I went to take a sip of water and then fell down on then little mat there for me. "What is it, little feller?" he said.

"Sometimes it's just too much, these two."

"I know what you mean...they can be tiresome."

"I can't even sleep with Boo-Boo anymore. He's so fucking restless and that's when he's asleep. He's up and down, ostensibly to go to the bathroom, but really just to wander aimlessly. He's driving me mad!"

"Poor you," the phantom Dalmatian said and, for once, there didn't seem to be a whiff of sarcasm

"And the other one, who was starting to simmer down now that he's gotten rid of that twat who was treating him before, is climbing the walls because of his MRI on Tuesday!"

"Isn't that a nothing process?"

"He thought so. Then the chick who booked the appointment said, 'Are you claustrophobic?' all he could think was, 'I AM NOW!!!'"

"Jeez."

"So they're both a mess and you can imagine just how fun it is for me." I sighed deeply.

Then Cosmo came over to me and sat down beside me and a wee bit too close for my comfort. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Let your Uncle Cosmo help you relax."

"You're not one of those creepy uncles, are you?"

"Oh! hush up!"

Then, as only a Ghost Dog can do, he wrapped his body around me. I felt nothing physical except a kind of warmth...a glow...or a flow of peaceable energy going through me...deep into me. "Now sleep, little feller. Sleeeeeeeeeee—"

And I was out.

I woke up when Boo came into the kitchen to make his coffee in the morning and everything—everything!—was just fine. I stretched long and hard and said, "Good morning!"

"What's good about it?" Boo mooed.

"Get with the program!" I barked. "It's a crisp autumn day and Christmas is only two months away and then you have three weeks off to do sweet fuck all!"

"I guess you're right," he said and actually smiled for the first time in months.

"Now get me the fuck outside or I'll piss in your bed." He laughed. I added "Who's joking?

He skedaddled.