May 1, 2010; Pomes

Limerick

There once was a man from the city

Who cringed at the sight of a titty.

He'd walk with his Jack

Checking out every sack

While whistling a gay little ditty.

Song

A cat is a cat and a dog is a dog

And a bunny is funny to babies;

But a dog with a cat is abnormal, they say,

And a bunny's less funny with rabies.

So cats pop their kitties and doggies their pups

And no one seems keen for a dottie;

But please listen to me as I sing of my love:

A black and white feline, my hotty.

Please let me my sweet and go on with your lives

And remember that love's always glorious.

Allow me my puss without all the fuss

And romance shall rise up victorious!

There are people you call "fister"

And some play at naked Twister,

Then why?—oh why!—can't I just have my cat?

If my master has his mister

And a hillbilly his sister,

Then why?—oh why!—can't I have my puss twat?

Haikus

A small, cluttered home;

Two men, a dog, and a mess

They all call their lives.

Oh! Piss in the bed!

Tragedy at morning's light!

Must we shoot the dog?

They once were "queer boys,"

Now, of course, they're "gay" and

Jughead gives blowjobs.