July 27, 2010; Fiction and Reality

Now that he has his fucking iPad, Skeeter is using me for cards. Kill me now.

Living with these two it's never clear what's true and what's not true; what is defining the reality this week or even just today?

Let me explain.

Skeeter's an internet junkie and more specifically an internet news junkie so that meant that last week, for instance, his reality was being defined by the ups and downs of the Shirley Sherrod story. He was on it from the first. He was zipping about the net when he went "oh-oh." My ears perked up, I asked, "What?" and he said, "A black government official seems to have said some racist things." But, being the liberal wing-nut that he is, he was having trouble believing it and and then, of course, the whole thing fell to pieces and this guy Andrew Breitbart was revealed but not before all the liberal wing-nuts—from the NAACP right up to the sainted President—showed their true colours as reactionary lunatics who seem to pay too much attention to Fox News. (Hey! I love Fox News! Always a good time to be had over there.) So you see what I mean? From day to day Skeeter's reality shifted until, by the end of the week, he was just foaming at the mouth not knowing who to get mad at.

And movies...Jesus. Each one shifts the realities in this house in its own special way.

So we settle down to watch "District 9" which looks like a good old-fashioned sci-fi horror, monster movie. But then Skeeter keeps ruining it by pausing the film and explaning that is it, first, an allegory for the anti-immigrant violence in South Africa and, later, an allegory about street warfare in Iraq and Afghanistan. An hour in he had so ruined the movie with his political chatter that Boo-Boo fell asleep and I just stared at the walls waiting for supper and my walk.

Even worse was when we watched "A Single Man." Most of you will never see this movie as it's a queer film. It's about a queer guy whose boyfriend of 16 years dies. But because it takes place at the beginning of the 60s when no one talked about those things (ah! the good old days!), the queer guy has to suffer in silence. Speaking of silence, that's pretty much what reigned over the entire viewing of this film. Skeeter was not his typical chatty-Cathy self and Boo just watched. Even when it was done...silence.

Then, needless to say, Skeet asked, "What would you do if I died?" Boo murmured, "I don't know." Skeet, unusual for him who has a plan for everything, said, "I have no idea what I would do either."

Hey! HEY!!!!!!

I'M HERE! WHAT ABOUT ME! MAKE PLANS! THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!! YOU WILL STILL HAVE ME TO WALK AND TO FEED AND TO AMUSE!!! I WILL NOT BE DEAD!!!

But maybe, hidden in all that sighing and pining and silence after the movie there was, actually, a plan. The plan was no plan. You know what I mean? So I have to plan. If one of them seems to be reaching the end, I clearly have to kill them both, pack my bags and get the fuck out of here.