December 13, 2009; Back to normal?

Things are not quite back to normal at La Maison Mook, but they're getting there.

It didn't take long before I was the subject of ("humourous") abuse. For instance... I have this nylon chew toy shaped like a bone and whenever things get to be too much for me I gnaw away at that thing until the tension passes. There's something to be said for ripping bits off of inanimate objects. The problem is, that being the well-organized canine that I am, I destroy my toys in a kind of order. For instance, when I had that fucking Santa doll, I could have just torn it to shreds, picking it apart all over its little felt body, but that would have taken months. Instead, I found the bottom seam and just kept worrying that with my teeth until I'd literally torn the thing a new asshole and could then yank his cotton intestines out in long white streamers. You see? Organized.

The problem with the nylon bone is that I set to gnawing it on one end, and when I got that end gnawed off it no longer looked like a bone, did it? In fact, Mook A was the first to notice what it did look like. "Hey! Look at that! Léo has made himself a dildo!" Hilarity ensued and then the two of them went at it: "Have you seen Léo's dildo?" or "Time to wash off Léo's dildo!" or "I wonder into which hidden hole Léo shoved his dildo."

Oh! But it gets worse! Yesterday Cate came to visit, after her trip to Florida, and she brought me a new nylon bone. I mean, it was a monster of a thing. But being the organized (perhaps over-organized) dog that I am, I still wanted the old one to finish with first, so I was sort of ignoring the new one. "I guess," says Mook A, "he wants to finish sucking and chewing on his dildo before starting on a bigger one...needs the practice, I guess." Ha! Ha! Ha! A good giggle was had by all.

Later I tried to hump Cate, but my heart wasn't in it. "You see," quipped A, "he's got a taste for dildo now."

I think I shall wait until he, in particular, is asleep, and find a place to hide that fucking dildo. Shouldn't be long 'til the stupid twat is getting daily visits from nurses again.

Meanwhile, Christmas is, indeed, coming and so the snow is piling up on the ground and the wind whips about. What this means is that I'm getting cold and am forced to cuddle up close to one or the other of the Mooks which, of course, makes me look more like a suck than ever. But this must be said: I did miss—while B was traveling and A was in the hospital—the no-questions-asked aspect of cuddling. I mean, I just had to look at the couch, do the sit-give-paw rigmarole and I'm warm—the Mooks get the look. As nice as they were, A's Sis didn't immediately get when I needed the cuddle. Maybe after a little training she would have, but, as I said, training humans can be draining.

A trained human is worth his or her weight in gold. With or without dildo jokes.